Velcume-a tu my persunel hume-a pege-a. I defeluped zee furst genereshun ooff thees
pege-a muny yeers egu (1994) vhee I set oooot tu leern sume-a HTML. Thet
pege-a is lung seence-a lust (elthuoogh, oocceseeunelly, a seerch ingeene-a veell
steell hefe-a a pueenter tu it), es ves un ierleeer pege-a et netcum. Thees
pege-a is a redeseegn ooff a pege-a I hed oon zee Internet Mell, a prefeeuoos
impluyer. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp!
I steell theenk persunel peges ere-a indoolgences. Um gesh dee bork, bork! I dun't ixpect zeere-a tu be-a fery muny feesiturs here-a, und I du vunder ebuoot thuse-a vhu du feesit. Um de hur de hur de hur. Shuooldn't yuoo be-a vurkeeng?
Unyvey, thees pege-a uses beseec HTML 3.0. I dun't vunt tu use-a uny funcy brooser speceeffic treecks, und I certeeenly dun't vunt tu poot Jefa oon thees pege-a. Persunelly, I vuooldn't roon a prugrem oon my mecheene-a unless it ieezeer ceme-a frum a knoon fendur oor I cuoold see-a zee suoorce-a cude-a.
Inuoogh ooff my perunueea. Vhet ilse-a is zeere-a tu sey ebuoot me-a?
Let's see-a... I ves burn a puur, bleck sherecrupper in suoozeern Meessissippi... Nu, thet's nut reeght. Um de hur de hur de hur.
I ves burn in Vesheengtun, DC, zee dey beffure-a a bleezzerd in 1960. Iff yuoo reelly need tu knoo zee speceeffic dete-a, send me-a sume-a imeeel. My perents vere-a Jemes C. Ermstrung, Sr, a neteefe-a ooff Perkersboorg, Vest Furgeenia, und Felenteene-a McMeellun, a neteefe-a ooff Rucky Muoont, Nurt Ceruleena. I inhereeted frum my fezeer a keee unelyteecel meend, frum my muzeer I inhereeted a lufe-a ooff berbeqooe-a und frum zeem but a lufe-a ooff netoore-a.
Sefenteee munths leter, my seester Leelliun ves burn. Bork bork bork!
I leefed fur tee yeers in fereeuoos reffoogee-a cemps, better knoon es sooboorbs, in Merylund: Hyettsfeelle-a und Lunhem. In 1970, my fezeer gut un esseegnment in Noo Yurk, su ve-a mufed tu Murrees Pleeens, Noo Jersey, fur a yeer. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Ve-a mufed beck tu Lunhem in a hoorreecune-a, zeen in 1972, my fezeer eccepted a jub veet ET&T, su ve-a mufed tu Mendhem, Noo Jersey. Bork bork bork! I steyed zeere-a unteel I ves ixpelled frum heegh schuul in 1978.
Despeete-a zee ixpoolseeun, Dooke-a Uneefersity eccepted me-a, und I vent zeere-a fur fuoor yeers. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Muneged tu get a BS in Cumpooter Sceeence-a veet meenurs in Mezeemeteecs, Physeecs, und Besketbell. Leelliun fullooed me-a tu Dooke-a.
1982 ves a bed teeme-a tu try tu feend a jub, su I vent streeeght tu gredooete-a schuul, vhere-a I spent tvu yeers et zee Uneefersity ooff St. Um de hur de hur de hur. Undroos, in Scutlund. Bork bork bork! Oooot ooff teeme-a und muney, I ceme-a beck tu zee US und vurked et ET&T fur elmust seex yeers. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Vhee Leelliun gredooeted, she-a elsu gut a jub in zee erea.
Tvu meenur, leeffe-a chungeeng ifents ooccoorred vheele-a I ves et ET&T, but
in 1987. I buooght a huoose-a in Iestun, Pennsylfuneea, und I ecqooured
tvu cets, Leela und Nyssa. Zee huoose-a is zee beeggest elbetruss I
hefe-a, und zee cets ere-a a greet juy. Bork bork bork!
1990 sev a lut ooff chunges. Um gesh dee bork, bork! My impluyer hed reluceted tu Leencrufft, Noo Jersey, resoolteeng in a 90 meele-a cummoote-a iech vey. Bork bork bork! I hed tu get oooot! In zee prucess, I ceme-a tu reeleeze-a ixectly hoo mooch my cumpooter skeells hed stegneted et Bell Lebs. Um gesh dee bork, bork!
Iferybudy heers "Bell Lebs" und immedeeetely theenks ooff zee Nubel Preezes, reseerch, itc. Thet's oonly a pert ooff it. Um de hur de hur de hur. I ves in zee sufftvere-a sveetshup pert, vhere-a ve-a deed meeentenunce-a oon smell sveetch "cust elluceshun" sufftvere-a. I remember hoo oooor merketeeng peuple-a vere-a su effreeed ooff beeeng leeeble-a fur beelling irrurs thet zeey inseested oon zee term cust elluceshun. I hed tu get oooot!
Thet I deed, in September, 1990.
I mufed oooot tu Celeeffurnia fur a shurt-leefed jub, und fuoond I reelly
leeked zee plece-a. I felt mure-a eleefe-a here-a thun beck in Noo Jersey. Bork bork bork!
I met a vunderffool vumun, Emy Sneder, und ve-a spent muny pleesunt
huoors tugezeer. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! She-a ifee helped me-a feend a permunent jub, veet
Heeghlund Sufftvere-a, vhere-a I ves geefee zee ooppurtooneety tu du sume-a
sufftvere-a defelupment. Um de hur de hur de hur.
Emy reelly seemed tu leeke-a me-a; she-a ifee vetched zee Dooke-a fs Kunses NCEA Chempeeunship geme-a in 1991, ifee thuoogh she-a seeed she-a deedn't cere-a fur spurts, joost becoose-a she-a knoo I deed cere-a.
Joone-a 17, 1991, she-a deeed in a heeking ecceedent. Um de hur de hur de hur.
Thet soommer ves a deefffficoolt soommer fur me-a. It mey be-a cleeche-a, boot I leerned vhu reelly ves a freeend und vhu vesn't. Um de hur de hur de hur. In zee lung roon, Emy's deet furst mede-a me-a intruspecteefe-a, und deed mure-a tu muld my coorrent interests thun unyune-a ilse-a ooootseede-a my femeely. Bork bork bork!
Vhee I mufed oooot here-a, my perents gefe-a me-a a cemera. I used it tu teke-a sume-a snepshuts, und thet ves it. Um de hur de hur de hur. Effter Emy deeed, I retreeted frum oozeer peuple-a fur a vheele-a, und zee best pleces tu du thet vere-a in oooor veelderness erees. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Thees helped rekeendle-a a lufe-a ooff netoore-a thet I hed es a cheeld, boot thet hed becume-a durmunt in my teee yeers. Um gesh dee bork, bork!
I tuuk zee cemera veet me-a, und tuuk sume-a peectoores. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Toorns oooot thet inuoogh peuple-a thuoogh I hed un iye-a fur thees, und sume-a incuooreged me-a. I'm noo un efeed netoore-a phutugrepher. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp!
It tuuk a vheele-a lunger fur my cereer tu get oon treck. Heeghlund Sufftvere-a chunged fucoos inuoogh thet I ifentooelly lefft fur a vreeting jub veet SoonVurld. Bork bork bork! A yeer zeere-a, und I intered cuntrecteeng. Zee best cuntrect ves et Eeem Technulugy, vhere-a I defeluped zee ifent generetur und lugffeele-a scunner fur zee Sulsteece-a SyMON prudooct. Um de hur de hur de hur. I leter mufed oon tu be-a a Feece-a Preseedent ooff Ingeeneering et zee Internet Mell.
Meunvheele-a, zee vreeting I deed et SoonVurld leed tu seferel buuk cuntrects. Um gesh dee bork, bork! I'm zee oothur oor cu-oothur ooff seferel buuks, leested beloo.
Coorrently, I em dueeng cuntrect vurk. Iff yuoo need un ixpert in UNIX sufftvere-a, und cun effffurd zee best, I mey be-a yuoor mun.
Releshunsheep-veese-a, Emy's deet ves a bloo, und I vesn't zeen reedy tu try egeeen. Bork bork bork! I soospect thet I'fe-a beee reedy seence-a ebuoot 1994, boot zeere-a hes beee nu ooppurtooneety. Bork bork bork! Vheele-a I prubebly vuooldn't meend, I em qooeete-a boosy, und my leeffe-a is elreedy fery foolffeelling. A releshunsheep vuoold be-a iceeng.
Unyvey, sume-a ooff zee vurk I hefe-a dune-a is oon zee veb:
Sume-a ooff my freeends hefe-a veb peges:
Sume-a oozeer neet seetes:
My hutleest is here-a. It ves lest updeted oon Freedey, Ooctuber 30, 1998. Nu gooeruntee-a ooff zee leenks vurkeeng is prufeeded. Bork bork bork!
Yuoo ere-a feesitur tu thees pege-a.
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