Welcome t'mah varmintal home page. ah developed th' fust junerashun of this
page menny years ago (1994) when ah set out t'larn some HTML. Thet
page is long on account o' lost (although, occashunally, a search ingine will
still haf a pointer t'it), as was an earlier page at netcom, dawgone it. This
page is a redesign of a page ah had on th' Internet Mall, a previous
employer.
ah still reckon varmintal pages is induljunces. ah doesn't speck thar to be mighty menny visito's hyar, an' ah do wonner about them who does visit. Sh'dn't yo' be wawkin'?
Ennyway, this hyar page uses basic HTML 3.0. ah doesn't be hankerin' t'use enny fancy browser specific tricks, an' ah sartinly doesn't be hankerin' t'put Java on this page. Varmintally, ah w'dn't helter-skelter a program on mah machine unless it eifer came fum a known vendo' o' ah c'd see th' source code.
'Nuff of mah pareenoia. Whut in tarnation else is thar t'say about me?
Less see... ah was born an' raised a pore, black sharecropper in southern Mississippi... No, thass not right.
ah was born an' raised in Warshin'ton, DC, th' day befo'e a blizzard in 1960. Eff'n yo' pow'ful need t'knows th' specific date, send me some email, ah reckon. Mah parents were James C. Armstrong, Sr, a native of Parkersburg, Wess ole Virginny, an' Valentine McMillan, a native of Rocky Mount, No'th Carolina. ah inherited fum mah Pappy a keen analytical mind, fum mah Mammy ah inherited a love of barbeque an' fum them both a love of nature.
Seventeen months later, mah sister Lillian was born an' raised.
ah lived fo' ten years in various refugee camps, better known as suburbs, in Mary Janelan': Hyattsville an' Lanham, dawgone it. In 1970, mah Pappy got an assignment in Noo Yawk, so we moved t'Mo'ris Plains, Noo Jersey, fo' a year. We moved back t'Lanham in a hurricane, then in 1972, mah Pappy accepped a job wif AT&T, so we moved t'Mendham, Noo Jersey. ah stayed thar until ah was expelled fum high skoo in 1978.
Despite th' expulshun, Duke Unyversity accepped me, an' ah went thar fo' four years. Managed t'git a BS in Computer Science wif mino's in Mathematics, Physics, an' Baxetball, ah reckon. Lillian follered me to Duke.
1982 was a bad time t'try t'find a job, so ah went straight to graduate skoo, whar ah spent two years at th' Unyversity of St. Colonel Bobs, in Scotlan'. Outta time an' money, ah came back t'the US an' wawked at AT&T fo' almost six years. When Lillian graduated, she also got a job in th' area.
Two mino', life changin' events occurred while ah was at AT&T, both
in 1987. ah bought a house in Easton, Pennsylvania, an' ah acquired
two cats, Leela an' Nyssa. Th' house is th' mos' trimenjus albatrost I
have, an' th' cats is a great joy.
1990 sar a lot of changes. Mah employer had relocated t'Lincrof', Noo Jersey, resultin' in a 90 mile commute etch way. ah had t'git out! Fry mah hide! In th' process, ah came t'reckanize exackly how much mah computer skills had stagnated at Bell Labs.
Ev'rybody hears "Bell Labs" an' eemeejutly reckons of the Nobel Prizes, research, etc. Thet's only a part of it. ah was in the sof'ware sweatshop part, whar we did maintenance on small switch "cost allocashun" sof'ware. ah remember how our marketin' varmints were so afraid of bein' liable fo' billin' erro's thet they insisted on th' term cost allocashun. ah had t'git out! Fry mah hide!
Thet ah did, in Seppember, 1990.
ah moved out t'Califo'nia fo' a sho't-lived job, an' foun' ah pow'ful
liked th' place. ah felt mo'e alive hyar than back in Noo Jersey.
ah met a wonnerful woomin, Amah Snader, an' we spent menny pleasant
hours togither. She even he'ped me find a permanent job, wif
Highlan' Sof'ware, whar ah was given th' oppo'tunity t'do some
sof'ware development.
Amah pow'ful seemed t'like me; she even watched th' Duke vs Kansas NCAA Championship game in 1991, even though she said she didn't care fo' spo'ts, jest on account o' she knowed ah did care.
June 17, 1991, she died in a hikin' accident.
Thet summer was a difficult summer fo' me. It may be cliche, but I larned who pow'ful was a friend an' who warn't. In th' long run, Amah's death fust made me intryspeckive, an' did mo'e t'mold mah current interests than ennyone else outside mah fambly.
When ah moved out hyar, mah parents gave me a camera. ah used it t'take some snapshots, an' thet was it. Af'er Amah died, ah retreated fum other varmints fo' a spell, an' th' bess places t'do thet were in our wilderness areas. This hyar he'ped rekindle a love of nature thet ah had as a chile, but thet had become do'mant in mah teen years.
ah took th' camera wif me, an' took some pitchers. Turns out thet 'nuff varmints though ah had an eye fo' this, an' some incouraged me. ah's now an avid nature photographer.
It took a spell longer fo' mah career t'git on track. Shet mah mouth! Highlan' Sof'ware changed focus inough thet ah eventually lef' fo' a writin' job wif SunWo'ld, cuss it all t' tarnation. A year thar, an' ah entered corntrackin'. Th' bess contrack was at Aim Technology, whar ah developed th' event junerato' an' logfile scanner fo' th' Solstice SyMON produck. ah later moved on to be a Vice President of Engineerin' at th' Internet Mall, ah reckon.
Meanwhile, th' writin' ah did at SunWo'ld lead t'sevahal book corntracks. ah's th' autho' o' co-autho' of sevahal books, listed below.
Currently, ah's doin' corntrack wawk. Eff'n yo' need an expert in UNIX sof'ware, an' kin affo'd th' best, ah may be yer man, as enny fool kin plainly see.
Relashunship-wise, Amah's death was a blow, an' ah warn't then ready t'try agin. ah suspeck thet I've been ready on account o' about 1994, but thar has been no oppo'tunity. While ah probably'dn't mind, ah's quite busy, an' mah life is already mighty fu'fillin'. A relashunship w'd be icin'.
Ennyway, some of th' wawk ah have done is on th' web:
Some of mah friends haf web pages:
Some other neat sites:
Mah hotlist is hyar. It was last updated on Friday, Ockober 30, 1998. No guareentee of th' links wawkin' is provided, cuss it all t' tarnation.
Yer visito' t'this page.
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